I really need a handsome brain surgeon

I'm trying real hard here to actually post something.I've been writing and deleting for the past 15 minutes and I'm starting to lose my nerves.I have things to say but I don't know how to say it.And it's really bugging my brain!

I'm not sure how to put it but let's just try.Have you ever feel so stupid and idiot and brainless and so damn guilty for trying to help your friend get a girl?And supposedly that girl is your friend too.I mean seriously!For God's sake I still remember those times when he texted me LATE night just to talk about her.He replied me so fast when she's the topic.He even started and ended every conversation with her as the topic.And now?Don't even ask me what it is cause I don't freaking hell know.

This thing is really giving me a brain damage.I can't talk to him cause she didn't really talk to me.So I don't really know the real story.I can't asked him what the friggin' hell he was thinking if I'm not talking to him cause I don't really know what happened.See what this thing done to my half-damaged brain?I just can't do something and it's really rupturing my brain!

Ok.It wasn't always bad with this two lovebirds but sometimes things just got way over the line and I feel like a total idiot stranded on a deserted island not having a clue of what to do.

I'm trying hard not to take anyone's side cause they are both my friends.But I just can't do anything if I don't hear what happen from both sides.I'm not backing anyone.I just need to hear what they both thought and feel.Because for some reason,I think I'm starting to understand them and I need to think and act based on who they are.(seriously,if you're having troble to understand this,I get it).

Can anyone help me?Please?Or you can just find me a really handsome brain surgeon so I can be with him under OT for hours!


p/s:I'm starving but I can't swallow a thing.Dearest Allah,please lend me little of your ability to chew for me.Even just for a while.I begged of you.Amin.

daiya+ikyn+sabe=love

I really wish I'm strong enough to get through this.I really wish I won't break apart.I don't know if I can really do this.Sometimes,I just feel like it's really tough and hard to survive here.











My sore throat ain't getting better.It had been like this for the past three days and it's really painful.I can't swallow anything.It even hurt just to talk.I need to go to the clinic.Even I don't know the risk I'm taking for going there.But I have to.I need some painkiller or whatever fast.I can't get my case done with the headache and this painful sore throat.And I have pbl tomorrow.Camne nih..

But thank God for giving me such lovely friends.I couldn't ask for more from them.They have been taking a really good care of me.If I were mom I wouldn't be worry for my sick daughter if she would have such friends.I mean seriously,they tried every single way to help me get better and I'm really grateful for having them with me right now.Things are hard here,yes.But having them with me somehow make things easier.So,especially to daiya,sabe and ikyn,thank you so much.Aku saaaaaaayang korang.And kak mira and kak aula too.Hihi.Nk group hug!Nanti aku habiskan makanan safwa and baby arip tu eah.Thank you!

For some reason I feel bad for not doing anything for them.I wish I can give something for them too.But I'm pretty much incapable of many things.Sighhh I must be soo pathetic.




p/s:to my two bros,enjoy the keropok pedas in kuantan.You have no idea how hard it is to get anything pedas here.So,be grateful!hihi

Nak matahari malaysia bole?

My head is killing me.
I'va been taking in like 4 tablets of actifast panadol for the past three days.
And my head is still burning.
My throat felt like swelling.
It hurts all the time.
I keep telling and forcing myself to get up and get working.
I just simply eat everytime I feel like falling asleep.
Atleast I'm awake while eating.
Texted mom last night.
Malaysia was around 0400am I think.
I can't stand it.
My head was really burning.
Sorry mak.
She gave me a few tips.
Tried it,and still,my head is burning like hell!
So I passed out around 1100pm.
I haven't finished studying.
I still heven't even touch anything on my second case.
And I have MCQ in 4 hours!
I'm so dead.
I wished they cancelled today's MCQ.
And I hoped today will be warmer.
Maybe something about the weather that boiled my head and burnt my throat.
Uhh I don't know..
I really should be studying on my cases.
Daiya and sabe seemed pretty well prepared.
I mean seriously,I bet daiya just slept like one hour ago after studying the whole night last night.
T______T
Mati laa kne condemned ngan arab nanti..


p/s:Seriosly,I need soxworld.Jom g cairo kawan2!

worse than a bad hair day!

This post was supposed to be on 1st of november.I'm a little late.Haha!
(please laa dida.who give a damn about it?duhhh)

My head is killing me.
It had been like this for the past 8 hours.
I have to stop taking in this brain function distortion and body regulation distruption drugs or I'll pass out in anytime.
But I need them.
To stay awake.
But I can't stand the side effect.
Felt like my head is burning.
Adehhh...
Tak pena2 minum caffein kat uma sampai cini sebulan da terjebak.


Ok.So today's pbl was sucks.For real.Even our doctor commented that today's discussion was "very ineffective".Tak tau laa what's the consequence but I hope tak payah repeat.I'm sick of bacteria already.And I can't stand helminths.Geli!

My mood started off quite ok this morning untill I'm in pbl room.Mood spoiler btol.Salah sangat ke?Tak memahami laa!Just because you're 2 weeks earlier than me did not prove in any way that you're better than anyone.Uhh!Da laa.Malas nk tambah dosa yg da byk nie.I can look for help from others laa.I can even find it for myself.It's ok kalau tak nak bagi pun.Just don't let the bitch in me talking cause you won't like it.I still have my patience with me right now.

And seriously,I just don't get the arabs laa.I mean ok fine if you wish to point out your fact.But do you mind show a little respect to the person who's supposed to be pointing their fact?I mean,manners please!We don't mind arguing over a fact just don't simply butt in rudely in the middle of the discussion.Nanti kuar the "shut-your-damn-butt-up-and-listen-to-me-talking" part kuar from us,nyesal satu group ngan malizi.

Uhh!Cabaran btol arr.I hope for no arabs in my group for next sem.I can't stand them laa.Rude gler kot.Kalau yang baik tuu scarily baik sampai nak cakap bye pun susah.Ntahlaa.Krisis hidup btol.All I know,I just want some sleep.My head is boiling and I'm freaking cold!Nak tido sebelah daiya laa.Boleh daiya?Haha!



p/s:camne nk masok toilet nie?Frost bite laa kaki nie T____T

I need soxworld

internet nie tekanan!

adehh..Ok fine.bersyukur dida..

So,umm pbl was ok kot.But I missed two cases so there's a lot of catching up to do and so little time!My third case was ok.Just left with two more objectives and I'm done.Hurrah!But I have MCQ this sunday.Adehh baru berangan nak tengok ugly truth arie nie.

Umm I don't know why but I really wish to talk to some stranger I met on street and just tell her/him whatever I'm feeling right now.I can't find the person who actually wants to listen to my crap about crap things.So I thought "why not go to a stranger and tells everything.after all she's/he's just a stranger.she/he won't judge me".Kan?Nak cakap ngan someone I know punye susah.Cakap ngan arab pun tape.Dyorang tak paham ape kte cakap and vice versa.Nak kutuk pun bole depan2.No hal.

Huh!

Ok enough with the drama and everything.I should start working on my case right now.Microorganism and antibiotics,mana nak cari..adehh.berusaha dida!fighting!


p/s:nak mandi tapi tak sanggup nak bukak socks nie.Sejukkkkk!!

bening kebala..

Umm ok so manchester was ok.kot.Atleast until today.Esok ade pbl and I have no idea how that thing actually works.Da laa half of the group arab.Mesti kne penyek ngan dyorang. T__T.Eh tak2.I can do this.I may be small but I'm not weak.Fighting!

But somehow system dy pelik and very [!] different from regular.Kalau regular tuu sampai begging doctor soh benti.Macam tepu otak dengar lecture 5 hours straight.Da laa doctor dy punye english gler arab btol.And being there in those classes,made me really understand why doctor's handwriting suck.Mine was getting worse too.Haha.Yelaa.Yang dy tau dy tulis sama speed dengan yang dy cakap.They didn't give a damn if you don't have any clue what they're writing.But ofcourse you can always come to them anytime in the department laa.

Manchester.Hihi.Nak ketawa pun ade gak.Class dy approximately 2 jam sehari.Satu minggu dapat satu case and you'll solve the case with you're group.Tapi lecture dy sehari sejam je.Like baru nak warm up da habis daa.Macam tak sempat nak ngantuk.kalau regular,tak minum nescafe,memang by 0300pm da start mimpi.Haishh but my group ntahlaa.I have no idea who they are and how they get things done.Tengok laa dulu camne nanti.I can do this.Fighting!

Urghh!!I still have two unsolved cases and I'm getting new case tomorow!T__T kne nescafe lagi ke nie?I need a stronger but a less effect drug.Ikyn,prescribe something tuk aku."To be a pharmacist is to love drugs".Haha.Kem salam je laa lecturer ko..

Huh..da tatau nk tulis ape.I really should get my case done.Bening kebala arr.Baru sehari miss nescafe da kne effect.Adehh..


p/s:alamak lupa nk bli pendrive lagi.Da gelap pulak..

tortous emotion

First of all,

Daiya,please update your blog.Now.Dilwa'ty.

Ok.Serious mode.Huhh..I'm so not in the mood for blogging but I really need to spill this hellish and whatever-ish thing inside my damn pumping organ in my chest.Tak kira laa muscle ape nk contract or relax.Just wish to let it out.Huhh..

I change my course just now.I don't know why but I kept thinking whether I'm doing the right thing or not.I'm still doing medic.Yes.Tukar program laa actually.Mom had been asking me to change since the past a week but I said no.I thought I can do a regular program.Tapi..Ntahlaa.I don't get it.Tak sempat nak sembahyang istikarah pun.Pape laa.InsyaAllah I'm on the right track.I'll pray hard for His help.

Ok.Da.Nak cakap tuu je.Suddenly my pumping organ works better now.Impulse sampai kat spinal chord dengan btol kot.I don't know.Whatever laa.My brain and body works just fine.InsyaAllah.My bones je yang tak grow.Sighh [tetiba emo.I don't get it].

I'll stop before I start crapping again.See ya.