apa nie dyda?

THE END.

Is it?Well if it is then it's going pretty fast don't you think?And for some reason it scares me a little knowing that time moves this fast.

Ok.Final is less then a month.I know.It's scary but it's one thing i know i have to face.and i need to work REAL HARD this time.I want to go home.I want to be back with my mom,dad and my brothers.I want to be with my friends.I want to remember the old me for a change.I want to be felt at home.I want to be where I think I belong to.

It's getting lame.Ok.I know.I just need to focused myself.I have a lot to say but none if them actually came out in words..Fine.Let's just leave it there.

RINDU RUMAH DAN ORANG2 DIDALAMNYA LAA OII!URRGGHHH!

screw you dyda!

this is seriously uncool -.- .seriously,SERIOUSLY! i don't like this.not anywhere near the word like.in fact, if i can find word meaner then hate,i'd use it.

can someone,anyone tell me something?am i the kind of person who get pissed of or angry at something easily?because i think i get pissed off quite often this few days.i know my FSH and LH are not quite helping with the mood swings and all but seriously,i was pissed over something so small i couldn't even believe that i can actually get pissed over that thing.

and now.i really hope there wouldn't be any misunderstanding.because i surely have no idea how to explain things and i'm scared things will just get ignored,everyone acts like nothing happen and then there's this awkward thing going on. x suka laa unsolved things!tergantung mcm tu..

ok.it probably wasn't a big thing anyway.so,i think, GET OVER IT DYDA!LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY BETTER THINGS TO DO?SAY,HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOUR MID SEM EXAM NEXT WEEK??uuurrggh!!screw me!

tdo lagi baik -.-

hahahahahahahahahaha ok seriously,this ain't that funny but I really feel like laughing right now.

Tadi,sangat random.Btol.Macam,apakah..hahahahaha.

Ok.Supposedly ade talk tadi tuk manchester student sem2.I didn't even know there were fliers.Tau by facebook je.Haha.Then supposedly,start at 0730pm tp kol 0800pm baru nk start datang.Terbaik nyer doctors.Ok,so supposedly,I thought the talk was going to be maybe around an hour je.Tapi abang senior tu membebel mak aih..da laa cam sengal2.nasib baik it wasn't a boring one.So,bla bla bla..lapar gler laa.Tak makan pape cause I puasa.Early that day planning nk makan at this new cafe melayu baru bukak kat citu.then,i realized i was out of cash.i mean seriously.i only have 20 geneih and that's it for the whole month.nasib baik tinggal dua arie je lg.

So,i thought i might not want to go to this cafe and just eat a bunch of roti and cereal kat rumah.But ikyn and daiya pujuk2 so macam ok laa.i'll go.

Pastu sampai that cafe,it was ok kot.better then gmn or nusan or rumas.there were even ice blended there!but it was freezing cold so i decided to have hot choc instead.plus the only menu available was nasi ayam.so cam..ok laa.makan je laa.lapar lgpun.who cares.

bla bla bla then things start to get random because seriously,i have never seen orang2 yg bekerja kat cafe tu around mansoura before.i have absolutely no idea dyorg datang dari mana.i mean yelaa..dyorg orang malaysia.tp camne timbul kat mansoura pn xtau.da laa mansoura.

plus,mereka2 yg jumpa kat sana pn random gler.abang senior yg bg speach td pn ade.hahahahahaha see i told you it's nothing funny.i just feel like laughing.

So anyway,classes da start semalam.pbl first case.my group was,..well i duno.i don't have any issue with any of them.it's just seems that the group was rather entah..i can't find the right word laa.So pape laa.hahahahaha [again dida.NOT funny!]So,umm nothing much left to say.Yossshhhh!!for my second sem!

:) [still laughing and had no idea why hahahahahahahahaha]

hmmpphh!

Tiba2 rasa nk blogging. [silent pause]. Ok..Xtau nk tulis ape plak..Hahaha okok.

Lately nie rasa frustrated sangat dgn arab2 sekalian nie.Seriously korang,kalau xle sabar,JGN datang sini.Or kalau nk blaja bersabar,datang laa cini.The place,the people memang kadang2 tu rasa cam nk mencarut sangat2.

Ok.Supposely,arie tu dengar rumors kata da kluar result final.Ofcourse laa nk pegi tgk no matter how excruciating it is knowing your result kn.Then,si hisham keling tu.UGHHH!!Stop saying ''tomorow2.you can come and see the result tomorow'' bole tak??!!Sakit jiwa tau!Berapa lama dyorg nyer tomorow nie?!Org gamaah pn camtu.X systematic langsung.Geram gler.So I went to see the program director laa.She's a doctor.And she told me that the deans had not yet sign the result so it is not really declared or certified so students should not know about it yet.So I asked her laa why are some of my friends had known their result.and she said ''oh.that's because the students had been wondering around in hisham's office so he just went through it''.I was like whaaaattt??? kalau that thing aren't supposed to let out yet,jgn laa bg mana2 students pn tgk NO MATTER WHAT.nie x.bg setengah2.sakit jiwa!I know I could be dead knowing the result but waiting for the result is rather excruciating and a great torture a human worthless human brain like mine can handle.TOLONG laa!!Penat laa otak nie bg tau kt body nie soh sabar.jgn marah.jgn risau.xbaik ckp camtu.jgn mencarut.Hissshhhh!

Da la.Esok kalau g gamaah dy ckp camtu lg.I'll asked them what they did with my parents's 8000USD.I want to see it!

give me fino!

I'm freaking out right now.Seriously.I know what I did wasn't good enough and I'm totally screwed.Spare me.I need some time alone right now.

and

I'm starving.

is it the truth that hurts or the fact that you're not telling it that made things so hard?

I have exactly half an hour and that's it.Lepas nie back to thyroid gland.

Kenapa kn,susah sgt nk ckp kat org ape yg kte x puas hati or pape.I mean I know how it feels like and yes,it sucks.Big time.Tapi knp nk depan org tu pretend like xde pape but blakang dy only God knows ape yg dy cakap.Kalau rasa cam xle nk spill,TLONG jangan cakap blakang ye.It doesn't work that way.Ntah laa.Kadang mcm x bole nk marah.Tapi nk marah.Tp xkn marah.Kadang macam malas nk layan (ayat ikyn).Tp nk layan.Tp in the end,x layan gak.Ok.I sound like arabs. But,whatever.Faham x?!Pape laa.

Ok da.Jgn tambah dosa.Nak exam.Mintak maaf sume org.Pray for me ye.Ok.Back to thyroid glands.Ta~

assalamualaikum~

life can turn you into a bitch sometimes

It really sucks when you were cheated by a bunch of money minded sluts who abandoned you from day one and surprisingly,never stops thinking of millions ways to make your life miserable.Seriously,I feel like flushing them down my toilet.

Huh!

OK.Maybe it wasn't 100% their fault.OK.I was wrong too for not being alert with this kind of thing.Yeah.Blame me for being irresponsible first year student who happens to be thousands miles away from her family for the for the first time in her life and God knows how much she misses home!

Rasa cam nk bitching gler tadi.But thanks to a friends,I felt better.Really grateful someone can actually lend me his ear for a change.He's a good listener.Even over some things he had absolutely no idea what's it about.One thing about him that is so hard for me to get use to is the fact that he reminds me so much of this small warm place thousands miles away called home.Susah btol nk lupa rumah kalau cakap ngn dy n I don't know why!

Da laa.Tired of whining how difficult life is.This is life dida.Things happens.So just shut up and live it to the fullest.And NEVER forget the Dearest One who is always there for you.You are not alone.InsyaAllah..

free time maybe?

Maybe I kinda have good reason to blog tonight.I was stucked in front of kidney for 3 straight hours and I think I ought to have a break.Hihi

I was full and was finding a reason not to go to bed right now actually.Da laa baru makan,pagi2 buta,nk tdo.Mana x gemok.Haishh..

So,things went pretty much normal lately.I don't even know when it's not and when it is.It's pretty much the same.But,yeah.I'm on study leave right now.Till the 28th.So the house is pretty tense.Everyone is busy studying everything kot.Haha.It feels different for me when everyone starts shutting their doors everytime they're studying.It's not that I don't like it or whatever but I just felt like everyone is pretty much too busy that we don't even have time for a...I don't know.'Homey' stuff maybe?Like a small chat after meal like we used to have. Sume org excuse ourselves and get back to study.No time for gossiping or whatever.

Then I thought.OK.Nie baru final first sem.I mean yeah final is definitely a big deal but look at what it had done to us.Serumah pn jarang spend time da.Is this how it will turn out in future?As in we're working and everything?Or will it be alot worse?People said you don't have life when you're doing medic.I was trying and working hard to prove that was wrong.I mean ofcourse,we have lesser free time then everyone has but we still have time.We can still find some time if we want to.There must be a reason why God gives us 24 hours a day right?It must be just enough time for us right?

I really hope my life turns out just fine in the future.I'm always comfortable living in simple life like the one I'm living right now.And I hope I'll be able to make my family well,umm..shall I say 'full of love'?Haha.But seriously,no joke.I want my life to be full of love and happiness.

somebody help me

saya x patut d depan laptop dan blogging.
saya x patut chatting d ym

saya patut study sekarang.
and i'm leaving.
ok i'll stop.

tata

happy 2010

Thought of posting something on the last day of 2009 but I lost tract of time just now.Too busy with my final case.Final!Yeah.Wait.We'll get into that just in a while.

So,2009.

A lot had happened in my life in this dearly and almost hellish year of 2009.Most of the important events in my life happened this year.And believe it or not,it'd come to an end.

Well,I don't wish to write back every single thing happened in 2009 right now.But,whatever happened,it ain't that easy to forget what I went through.Lots of new,happy,depreesed,scary,unbelievable,bitchy,miracle.Oh wait!HAPPY NEW YEAR!!ok.balik semula.my alarm just remind it's new year =P.okok. miracle..hopeless,surviving,leaving,meeting,surprises,missing and yeah I can keep the list go on and on.I mean,you get it right?I believe everyone faces almost the same thing just in different way.So no big deal for me tell it out loud mine.

ok.now,2010.

Can't hope for much.I'm not usually the one with target.I just wanted to live my life the fullest so I won't regret anything here in this world and absolutely in the life after.I just want to be happy and make everyone around me happy.Cause I believe,when you're happy,you're full of love.And when you're full of love,obviously,you'll do your very best and never bitch around.Right?Ain't that is what people seek through all their life?I't's not that hard to get.But I believe people often waste it just like that.

ok.Enought with my self thought towards the world or whatever you call it.

Finals are just around the corner!Can you believe it?I mean.It felt like only yesterday my family sent me here and now I'll be having my finals in a month.And then I'll be in semester 2!InsyaAllah.My God,giler bapak cepat masa neyh!

Humm.That is pretty much what I wanna post this time.I just wanna wish my family happy new year.I'm sorry I can't text.I'm running out of kredit.I've been saving for my winter break anyway.Holidayy!Jom ge jalan! >.< [xle balik msia lepas gian holiday kt alex. =P].

to all my friends:happy new year guys!believe it or not,we're turning 19 soon,so yeah.Bigger responsibility,bla bla bla.I know.May you guys have a happy and blessful year ahead.InsyaAllah..

what is this?

I just don't get how this thing goes and it really kills my brain cells thinking about it.

huh.

ok.That's all I guess

oh.ym-ed with mom last night.miss her =)



p/s:I don't think I spent a lot every month but I always saved a lot less then I should be saving and I don't know why!da brp lama x bli shawl.window shop pn x lagi nk belanja.Dear money,why are you leaving me??

50,Jln Belibis 10

I miss home so much.

I miss my purple room.
I miss my bookshelves.

I miss mom's garden.

I miss dad's old sportage.

I miss our fridge.

I miss our living room.

I miss mom's 'taman bunga' inside that small room.

I miss mom's new flower arrangement.

I miss my brother's stinking room.

I miss TV.

I miss mom's most comfortable bed.

I miss my parents bedroom.

I miss my mom's little library.

I miss mom's korean vcd collection.

I miss our automatic washing machine.

I miss everything at home that I couldn't evern remember what I miss.

I've never left home for so long and I'm damn missing that place so much.

Da laa baru 3 bulan.I've got 7 more months to go.
Haisshh..

I miss home so much.

p/s:that pic was not taken at my house.somewhere in my aunt's house.never even beem there.neway,wish my bros will upload some of my house's pics.lama x tengok uma..

december?

blame this retarded GMN's internet for giving such an 'exclusive' service for us.I'm tired of hoping for internet everytime I turn my laptop on.Thank you very much.

Let see.Alot had happened all this while.Not much of a big thing but yeah, little-everyday-stuff.Oh!Had my mid sem exam and the result was,..umm I think I deserve it KOT.Ntahlaa.But things happened.Nothing we can do about it.bla bla bla.I'm just gonna focus on my finals now.Yoshh!Fighting!

Umm ok.Oh yeah..I'm totally crazy of shane west and 'a walk to remember' right now.Okok.I know that movie was so last season but seriously,I can't get enough of it.Copied it from daiya and was planning to watch it after mid sem but,hihi can't stand the wait laa.Hey,don't blame me.Shane west is too tempting!So I've watched it for atleast 3 times since mid sem.And was planning too watch it again after this case finished.Can't wait!

Guess I don't really have much to say.Miss my bros so much.Asal korang lama x on9?KL tade wireless ke?Soh abah bli satu lagi broadband laa.Cancel je kakak nyer.Bukan bole gune pun..

Btw,can't believe it's december already.Semalam da satu muharam.Happy new year everyone.May Allah bless you always and have a happy year ahead =)




p/s:can't wait to copy gossip girl from ikyn.tunggu hbs final eah.sabar eah dida
=(

Am I asking for too much?

I miss everyone at home.Raya is so near and for some reason,I kinda feel sad for not having them with me.I feel so far from them.I know.I'm not supposed to even think of thinking something like this.But tell you what,try living hundred thousands miles away in a land full of huge and strange people and try stopping yourself from thinking about coming back home anytime sooner.It's just sad.Having this feeling of being far away.Too far from everyone at home.

Friends are great.Yes,I really thank God for that.I couldn't asked for more from them.I've no idea how am I ever will survive here without them.Things are hard.Well,ofcourse.But knowing that friends are here kinda make me feel safer,surviving,and just keep hanging on.

There isn't much I can really do about life.I'm just trying hard to hold on and actually make it in life.I can't afford to let my family down.They've done too much for me.

Okok.Dida.Enough with it.Get your book and start studying.Enough with all this mushy things.You've got a lot in your plate right now.Mid term exam in two weeks. T___T takotttt.Da eah.Sudah2.



p/s:tak sabar nk g bli shawl and cardigan baru.Yeay~ sempat lagi tu.Ish3 haha!

p/s to atem and aziq:nak balik uma maktok gak weyh.and make sure akem x amek tempat kakak.Hummpph! [pendengki gler =P]

p/s to daiya:hummm kalau chocolate boy vs habibi kat msia,i sokong ur habibi!haha!ok merepek lak.Sorry!just being honest hihi

p/s to ikyn:Aku sayang ko weyh.Jangan arr sedeh2 sangat,nanti aku pun sedeh =(

p/s to sabe:aku nk bli shawl and please make sure aku bli shawl.I need really need a new shawl.hihi

to this little dude of mine

Sometimes,things might not happened the way we want.Well,not sometimes,most of the time actually.So,went things just totally went upside down,look on the brighter side,everyone faces the same thing too!

Don't be too sad dude.Trust yourself.And most importantly,trust Allah.I know I may not be the right person to say this.I'm full of shits myself but sometimes,when things went totally upside down,there's always something brighter than the lights actually waits for you on the other side.You just need to walk there and open the door.

One thing that I never doubt in this life is that Allah never leaves me alone.So if He didn't give you what you want this time,He'll give you something else.Maybe something much better.He's not leaving you,He's just helping you in different way.Never stops praying cause He ALWAYS listens.OK?

Just chill out.Upsr is NOT[!] everything.I've seen people who used to get 5A's but was not in college and people with no A's probably doing something big in university now.So just forget about it.NOBODY is dissapointed in you.Everyone loves you just for who you are.Chill out ok.Nanti kakak balik msia kte g lepak tebrau.tengok wayang ke shopping ke whatever laa.I'll drive.Illegally mwahaha!Chill ok.I was never a bright student too.Kte sama je.Yang pandai dolce sorang je.Haha!



p/s:cakap ngn akem klu nk dtg JB takle dok tempat kakak =P hihi

It's back;the baaaa in me =)

Thank you Allah.
Thank you mak and abah.
Thank you atem and aziq.
Thank you maklang and paklang.
Thank you dearest friends-esp sabe,daiya,ikyn,kak mira and kak aula.

I love beautiful words.But somehow,I can't seemed to find any other beautiful words other than a simple plain 'thank you'.Sincerely from the bottom of my heart,thank you.Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick.And alhamdulillah,now I'm better and back being me.Thank you for being patience with me.Thank you for never leaving me alone.Thank you.And above all,thank you Allah ILYSM =)

To aziq,good luck for your result.Chill out ok.Things will be just fine.InsyaAllah. Just let me know as soon as you get the result.I don't care if we're 6 hours different and I'm supposed to be on bed.Just text me,miss call me,email me,comment me on ms or in my blog,buzz me or whatever.You're not living in a cave so let me know.I'll be waiting for you.Haha!Chill ok.You have my doa from egypt.Hihi insyaAllah.



p/s:I had nasi+serunding+telur as my first dish after I sihat.Hihi alhamdulillah =)

untitled

Kalau Allah beri aku peluang tuk makan even just one dish,
...................................................................Aku cuma nak makan nasi+serunding+telur goreng je.



Ya Allah,please help me get trough this.Please help me be stronger.Amin.



p/s:Aku tahu Allah hanya beri ujian seberat mana yang Dia tahu kita boleh menanggungnya.I just need His help.I can't do this alone.

I really need a handsome brain surgeon

I'm trying real hard here to actually post something.I've been writing and deleting for the past 15 minutes and I'm starting to lose my nerves.I have things to say but I don't know how to say it.And it's really bugging my brain!

I'm not sure how to put it but let's just try.Have you ever feel so stupid and idiot and brainless and so damn guilty for trying to help your friend get a girl?And supposedly that girl is your friend too.I mean seriously!For God's sake I still remember those times when he texted me LATE night just to talk about her.He replied me so fast when she's the topic.He even started and ended every conversation with her as the topic.And now?Don't even ask me what it is cause I don't freaking hell know.

This thing is really giving me a brain damage.I can't talk to him cause she didn't really talk to me.So I don't really know the real story.I can't asked him what the friggin' hell he was thinking if I'm not talking to him cause I don't really know what happened.See what this thing done to my half-damaged brain?I just can't do something and it's really rupturing my brain!

Ok.It wasn't always bad with this two lovebirds but sometimes things just got way over the line and I feel like a total idiot stranded on a deserted island not having a clue of what to do.

I'm trying hard not to take anyone's side cause they are both my friends.But I just can't do anything if I don't hear what happen from both sides.I'm not backing anyone.I just need to hear what they both thought and feel.Because for some reason,I think I'm starting to understand them and I need to think and act based on who they are.(seriously,if you're having troble to understand this,I get it).

Can anyone help me?Please?Or you can just find me a really handsome brain surgeon so I can be with him under OT for hours!


p/s:I'm starving but I can't swallow a thing.Dearest Allah,please lend me little of your ability to chew for me.Even just for a while.I begged of you.Amin.

daiya+ikyn+sabe=love

I really wish I'm strong enough to get through this.I really wish I won't break apart.I don't know if I can really do this.Sometimes,I just feel like it's really tough and hard to survive here.











My sore throat ain't getting better.It had been like this for the past three days and it's really painful.I can't swallow anything.It even hurt just to talk.I need to go to the clinic.Even I don't know the risk I'm taking for going there.But I have to.I need some painkiller or whatever fast.I can't get my case done with the headache and this painful sore throat.And I have pbl tomorrow.Camne nih..

But thank God for giving me such lovely friends.I couldn't ask for more from them.They have been taking a really good care of me.If I were mom I wouldn't be worry for my sick daughter if she would have such friends.I mean seriously,they tried every single way to help me get better and I'm really grateful for having them with me right now.Things are hard here,yes.But having them with me somehow make things easier.So,especially to daiya,sabe and ikyn,thank you so much.Aku saaaaaaayang korang.And kak mira and kak aula too.Hihi.Nk group hug!Nanti aku habiskan makanan safwa and baby arip tu eah.Thank you!

For some reason I feel bad for not doing anything for them.I wish I can give something for them too.But I'm pretty much incapable of many things.Sighhh I must be soo pathetic.




p/s:to my two bros,enjoy the keropok pedas in kuantan.You have no idea how hard it is to get anything pedas here.So,be grateful!hihi

Nak matahari malaysia bole?

My head is killing me.
I'va been taking in like 4 tablets of actifast panadol for the past three days.
And my head is still burning.
My throat felt like swelling.
It hurts all the time.
I keep telling and forcing myself to get up and get working.
I just simply eat everytime I feel like falling asleep.
Atleast I'm awake while eating.
Texted mom last night.
Malaysia was around 0400am I think.
I can't stand it.
My head was really burning.
Sorry mak.
She gave me a few tips.
Tried it,and still,my head is burning like hell!
So I passed out around 1100pm.
I haven't finished studying.
I still heven't even touch anything on my second case.
And I have MCQ in 4 hours!
I'm so dead.
I wished they cancelled today's MCQ.
And I hoped today will be warmer.
Maybe something about the weather that boiled my head and burnt my throat.
Uhh I don't know..
I really should be studying on my cases.
Daiya and sabe seemed pretty well prepared.
I mean seriously,I bet daiya just slept like one hour ago after studying the whole night last night.
T______T
Mati laa kne condemned ngan arab nanti..


p/s:Seriosly,I need soxworld.Jom g cairo kawan2!