leaving in less then 24 hours

I'm not sure why,but I'm not really freaking the hell out like I thought I would be.Bukan laa sampai tade rase takot langsong,but I just thought I'd be seriously cuak by now but I'm not.Does that considered as normal?Well,whatever.I'm using my every chance I have to use my super duper convenient broadband.Though tenet nie tak selaju wireless kat uma,atleast bole pakai.Tenet hotel nie bodo.Kne login 2000x baru bole.Chet!

So I just finished packing [not really 100% done,duhh..] just now.I planned on calling all my friends earlier tonight[september 28].Just to say goodbye.Not hoping much.But,like I said,just to say goodbye.I guess I'm too busy packing and buying [still!] some stuffs that it's kinda too late to call them now [september 29!]But I'll call them later in the morning.It's the least I can do for my dearest friends.

So I just got texts from bal from EGYPT haha!macam bangga pun ada gak dapat text dari sana.And kteorang reply speed macam bese je.Macam kat malaysia gak.I wished to ask him tons of questions but I guess he might be busy calling his mom and ofcourse he needs some rest too.Mesti jet lag tuu macam gler.13 hours in flight should be normal for jet lag kan?I did asked him a few question.Haha.Ko macam sedeh je kat sana bal.Haha.Here's a few things I asked him

dida:cairo camne?tempat dy lawa tak?
bal:tade ape sangat.JB lagi lawa kot.

dida:dyorang bawak g pyramid tak kat cairo?
bal:gmn penipu.tengok pyramid dari jauh je.
dida:laa aku baru berangan nak pegang.
bal:berangan je sudah..

dida:rumah ko bes?
bal:okla.aku dapat uma baru

dida:tenet ada kat uma?
bal:agy 3 minggu baru dapat kat uma

dida:bes tak tempat kteorang tuu?
bal:banyak sgt habuk arr kalau nk jalan2

dida:korang wat ape je dalam flight?bes tak?
bal:nak wat ape agy.makan tido makan tido makan tido je laa

...and a few others.See what I meant?Cam tak happy je.Bagi arr semangat ckit orang nk fly.Ape daa.Orang baru nak excited nak tengok cairo.Banyak agy nie sebenarnya nak tanye dy.Especially pasal luggage.My luggage looks like it's gonna explode in anytime.Haha.

Anyway,need to be at the airport by 0700pm tomorow I mean,tonight.Ape daa awal sangat.Flight kol 1145pm.Adehh..Tapi flight ktorang paling ramai.Dengar citer dak2 MARA yang wat medic pun pegi sama flight.Bgos2.Bole berkenalan ciap2.Haha.Tp rasanya most of dak MARA either g cairo unversity or alexandria university.Memang both are among the universities yang urban ckit laa.Sebab dyorang tengah bandar.Yang lain sume unversity kat a small town je.Mine pun cam tuu gak.Tape laa.Kalau blaja medic,kat mana skali pun kuar tetap jadi doctor gak kan.Bukan jadi bnde lain.

I think that's all for now.Ngantuk suda.And my back hurts so much.Sakit packing plus it's that time of the month.Sakit...Da laa esok nk travel.Lagi laa sakit.Aduhh..If I'm not blogging for the next three weeks,I guess this is my last post from malaysia.And I'm not quite sure when I'll post from dear malaysia too.I'm gonna miss this place so much!

goodbye?

It's 0705am.I'm in KL and wide awake.I still have a few things left to take care of before I fly.I'm not done with packing yet.I guess I'll get it real done when I'm leaving in a few hours.Uhh..I'm leaving tomorow [tomorow!].And I'm so freaking out right now.Aduhh tros sakit prot bile citer pasal flight.

I wished my closest family goodbye yesterday.Umm nk kata sedeh,tak sedeh sgt.Somehow,I felt rather 'bersemangat' nk fly.Haha.Chik wished me good luck and called me dr khalidah.It's kinda creepy when my own family called me that.Macam takot kalau tak dapat jadi nanti dyorang kecewa sangat.Maktok cried when she hugged me.I hold back my tears.I don't wanna cry.I'm not leaving them.I'm just away for some time.I shouldn't be crying right?

But somehow,I miss my brother atem already.I supposed we planned to go for a walk and maybe a little shopping at bukit bintang on my birthday night.But we couldn't make it.We went back to KL at sunday.Mana sempat.Dy da nk kne masok dorm balik daa.Thought of asking him a few stuffs for my birthday.And having a walk with him at bukit bintang should be a blast.Jalan2,tengok orang pelik2,kutuk2 orang,gado ngan makcik jual barang ke.Haha bes woo.I like shopping with him.He may not be the best fashion critics for me but he's one person I'll never think twice to go shop with.Haha.Tape laa.Kalau korang g egypt nanti kte jalan kat sana je laa. [comforting myself =( ]

Aziq,haha.He's our so-called 'peacemaker' in the family.Dengan bising dy,clumsy dy,he could really ruin your day.But on the other hand,he's one person you can really laugh your lungs out with.Kelembapan dy ternyata menghiburkan.Haha.Nak joke dengan dy pun agak susah sebab dy lambat paham.Ape daa.Tapi dy open ckit.Kalau ngan atem ade certain things yang we're not discussing but him,you can talk about everything.We may be 6 years apart from each other,but hey,you'll never know what you can actually talk to your 12 years old brother ok.Pape pun,he's my only hope of getting my daily updates with dolce.Mom's not very good with technology.Haha.No offence.

I don't wish to say goodbye yet.I wanna write more post before I fly.In fact,I'm thinking of writing one in airport.I wonder how kLiA looks like.It's been a few years since I last went there.Last pegi pun masa amek mak and abah from haji.And that was in 2003?Aiport subang bese laa.Airport tuu kecik je.Tapi da renovate.Da lawa.Hehe.Atem cakap kalau I'm not wearing my specs bole sesat gak laa.Nak tengok signboard dy takot tak nmpk.Da laa my vision makin trok.Especially at night.Adehh..

I'm 18!

Yeay!Happy birthday to me.I'm finally 18!Haha da besa da pun [well not physically that's for sure].Anway,I don't quite remember the last time I really had a birthday blast.But I don't mind.I don't need one.Having my family and friends wishing me their best wishes is all I'm asking and actually looking forward to!Haha.I love birthday wishes!I like wishing birthday and I like having my own birthday wish.It simply because it means someone remembers my birthday no matter where they are x).

Ok.On the other hand,some of my friends are on their way to egypt right now.Yeah.I know I'm allowed to freak out at this moment.I thought of leaving with this flight at first.I wished to have my birthday in a plane for a change.Haha.But most of my close friends are leaving on 29th,so I change my mind.Let's have fun in our trip guys!Kte kasik stewardess tuu bening ok?HaHa!OK.I should freaking out right now.Guess I'm too happy cause it's my birthday.Bal,aku nak hadiah made in egypt tau.Mama,aku tunggu wish ko dari cairo k.Easan,ko pun bek ready hadiah tuk aku au.Hehe [tak malu mintak hadiah =P]

Anyway,I miss my dearest friends in JB so much.Teringin nak jumpe korang arr.Yan especially.Agaknya lagi setahun laa baru jumpe eah yan T__T.Has,let see bile kali terakhir we meet eah?Ok.I can't recall =.=".Aduhh..I wish you all the best ye.Niesa,walaupun tak dapat buka puasa sesama,kire ok laa dyorg dtg uma beraya an.That is super cool.And you didn't tell me about ayap.Tapi tape laa.I'm glad everything's ok.Syu,I nk tengok laa your crocodile land.Post laa gmbr dy.Haha.Pja,umm ade boyfriend baru,let me know ok.Jangan simpan snsorang =P.Syarfa,for some reason,I think you're the kind of person that could end up as a doctor =) Berusaha ye.Fighting!And to the rest of my friend,I love you guys so much!And,selalu2 laa update blog ok.Kte skype sesama kalau ade masa eah =).Keep in touch ok.

p/s:ingat nk tulis post pendek je.Tetiba TERpanjang.Haha

I just got offered for a job!

ahahaha!Seriously,I'm not kidding when I said I just got a job offer.There's this doctor wants me to work for him after graduated!The thing is,I'm not yet leaving to study.Ahahaha!Ape daa.Tapi doctor tuu quite fun arr.He gave me his name card.Said to call him everytime I feel like I start loosing my head.

Ok so how the hell did I get this job in the first place?Ahaha!Nie lagi laa klaka.Okk.I just heard about some vaccine we need to take before we fly to egypt.Kenapa baru berapa arie je nk gi baru tau?Ahh..tu sume keje agent kteorg yang wat keje macam cipan ok.Tau pasal nie pun sebab ade mmber tanye doctor sendiri.So,we need to take a few vaccines like meninggococal,hepatits B and h1n1.yang h1n1 tuu tak penting sangat.lagipun kat malaysia vaccine dy pun tak banyak.Hepatitis B wajib untuk every med student sebab nanti kne come in contact with mayat laa ape laa.And meningococal is obviously untuk meningitis.

So I went to a clinic.Went to two clinics actually.The thing about these vaccines is that it takes time to get both the supply and the results.Meninggococal kne order dulu.Sebab besenye orang g haji baru nk shots tuu.Hepatits B kene screening dulu.Kalau antibdy da strong,tak payah amek shots lagi laa.So nk screening and order tuu amek masa atleast 4 days.And I'm leaving in exactly 4 days.[4 days!].So doctor tuu cakap "tak dapat injection vaccines,injection semangat pun bole laa k".

Hehe.He did gave me a few words that somehow I find it quite difficult to get it out of my head.Dy cakap,"nak jadi doctor ingat 4 bnde nie je".

1. Mesti ada minat yang SANGAT mendalam dalam medic.Macam,kalau tak dapat wat medic tuu bole nanges laa.
2. Mesti rajin!Kalau family and friends da labelled kte as rajin,memang sesuai laa nk wat medic.[errkk..alamak! =P]
3. Kene banyak berdoa and selalu mintak pertolongan dari tuhan.Blaja medic tak senang tapi tak susah gak kalau selalu berdoa =)
4. Kalau nak jadi doctor,make sure 3 bende nie tak terjadi pada you;

• tak sakit or cacat.Kalau jadi camtu,camne nk blaja treat patients kan?
• tak gila!camne nak treat patients kalau doctor pun insane?
• paling penting,tak mati!nobody wants a dead doctor!

Ahahaha!klaka arr doctor nie.But for some reason,it's damn true.It may souds funny but it's so true.Dy cakap dy dulu pun bukan laa straight A's student.He was the first in the family that went to university.Sibling dy yang lain2 sume keje ladang getah je.And dy pun bukan laa datang dari skola sains ke mrsm ke.Dy skola kat tengah bendang je.But He was among the earliest that graduated from UM in his batch.Beating most of science schools and mrsm's students.He's not a top student or a best student but he never failed too!He became a doctor at the age of 24 and now he's 49.Running his own clinic and offering me a job!

Ahaha thank you Dr Azmi!Nanti kalau dapat call from number yang pelik2 tuu jangan ignore ok.It might be your assistant calling from egypt =P.Ahaha!Musyakirin awi.

"you don't need to be a stright A's student to be a doctor.You just need faith in God and yourself"

forgive me

Dear friends,

Ok.Maybe I wasn't being myself lately.With mood swings and all.But believe me,I didn't enjoy it as much as you guys did too.It's not easy for me facing all this alone.I might asked for too much and yes,I regreted it.I know all of you are having life of your own and I shouldn't be asking too much.So,forgive me.Seriously.I'm not being such a good friend myself and yet,I've been hoping for friends to be good to me.So yeah.Such a bitch aren't I?So,apperently,most of you are in JB now.I'd say,welcome home guys.HaHa.Good old JB right?I know.I'll miss that place like hell too!Raya nanti enjoy laa korang ye. =)

I miss dolce already.Been thinking about him every night.Cek dok hotel baik2 eah.Kawan laa ngan hamster kat citu.Dyorang tak gigit cek.I really miss you.Nanti kte skype sesama eah.Jangan kawan sgt ngan janda tuu.Dy nk amek makanan cek je.Bukan nk kawan sgt pun.I'll be thinking of you everytime I'm eating ayam ok.Sorry kakak tak jumpe cek before kakak fly eah.Love you so damn much!And don't forget me ok.Bosan nanti lepak laa bilik kakak.Soh abg ajiq bukak pintu.[mind me people.I love my cat like my own brother.I talk to him like I did with my brothers too.so,excuse us]




I don't have much to say right now.I'm in penang now and not really having fun here.I can't get JB out of my head.I love that place.And the people there too.And having the thoughts of not coming back makes me feel so unease.Haisshh..Ape nk wat.Nasib laa.And I miss my gmn friends too.Lama sgt laa weyh tak tengok korang.Aku takot nanti da lupa muka korang.Hope to see you guys real soon.By soon I meant my flight day ofcourse.Uhh 10 more days to go.I'm freaking out o.0

Am I a paranoid or something?

Seriously.Help me.My back hurts so much.Felt like I can't walk straight or something anymore.Sakit dowh..[crying in pain].Yes.If you're asking me wether I've been packing.The answer is yes.In fact,I think I'm 85% done with packing.Never thought I could actually finished stuffing shits in that bloody luggage but hey I did.OK.Mind me my language.I told you.I hate packing.It gives me this sudden mood swings and it's pretty hard to get over with it.So yeah.I feel like shit again.

I don't understand it.I've been traveeling my whole life but why does this trip have to be so hard?I mean seriously,my friends could actually count how many days I'm in jb when in comes to school holiday.I went to kl atleast once in two weeks.I went back to kampung to spend like the whole school holiday.I'm used to check-in in hotels.I'm used with not having my bed with me.What is so different with this trip?Why am I feeling so lonely?Why can't my heart feel at ease?What went wrong?

I've been updating with few of my friends whom will be leaving with me.Ok.So maybe I'm not alone.They all felt the same way.None of us were actually looking forward for this raya.We don't give a damn about it and we're not even thinking of doing so.We would rather have a long ramadhan than raya.No one gives a shit about raya.Except the fact that we might not being able to come back for raya next year.Again,another items to add in the 'why-we're-not-enjoying-this-raya'.Crap.I can't get this shit thing in my chest out and it's bugging me.[Go away laa shit.Shoo shoo!!]

Uhh..my back is really killing me.Cam nk nanges je.Da laa mood tak baik neh.Nk makan arr.Let see if I can find anything to eat dalam fridge.Jap ahh..Be right back.

[seriously,I went out for food.Damn relaxing when you have food by your side]

Good.I found kuih raya.Ahaha.Sorry laa eah mak.Nanti raya dida tak makan daa.Hehe =).[food never failed to make me feel better]

HaHaHa.OK.I'm being paranoid.Suddenly feeling much better after eating kuih raya.Sedap2.Ape nama pun tatau.Whatever laa.I'm feeling much better.Thank u dear kuih!I love you so much.You make my stomach feel so much better.Ok seriosly,I'm so paranoid.[muahaha laughing like mad].Stop it,dida.Shush!

Oh!!Johnnye depp lagi!Ahaha gourgeous sial mamat nie.Cam nak nanges tgk kehenseman dy dlm sleepy hollow.Kyaa!!Tanpa disedari I just add another reason for people to actually belive I'm paranoid o.0 I think I better stop before I'm talking crap again.

Anyway,this might be my last post in JB.Until next year my beloved one and only JB.I will always love you like no other.[I think I AM paranoid.Yargh!!]

p/s: will miss jb-rians like hell T___T

I feel like I'm totally invisible

I'm freaking pathetic.I mean how could I?What was I thinking?What the hell has got into me?I'm so damn pathetic.Whatever happened,let's just keep it to myself.It's just that I..I can't..I don't know what..Urghh!!I can't even spill it out when all I wanted was just to let this hellish thing in my cramped heart out.God.

I've been so[!] miserable lately and somehow I just can't let it out.I have everything I wanna say but I don't have anyone to tell it to.I can't find someone who actually give a damn about it.I'm so invisible right now. I'm right here standing in the middle of the road yet no one sees me.Everyone just walk past by me.What am I?Am I not worth to listen to anymore?

Alright I get it.I'm just freaking pathetic and I'm invisible.Good for me.I'll get a life of my own now.I'll live in my own world [if I can find one].Crap.I'm talking crap again.It's just that I'm..I'm just so ... uhhh... disturbed.This is killing me.People help me get back the real me that I really miss.Only if you still remember the real me and ofcourse,as long as you give a damn about it.I won't die without your support anyway.I can always look up to the ONLY one who never leaves me alone.Dear god,Allah.

Shit.I'm talking shit.I'm acting shit.And I'm feeling like a shit!Urghh!