Am I a paranoid or something?

Seriously.Help me.My back hurts so much.Felt like I can't walk straight or something anymore.Sakit dowh..[crying in pain].Yes.If you're asking me wether I've been packing.The answer is yes.In fact,I think I'm 85% done with packing.Never thought I could actually finished stuffing shits in that bloody luggage but hey I did.OK.Mind me my language.I told you.I hate packing.It gives me this sudden mood swings and it's pretty hard to get over with it.So yeah.I feel like shit again.

I don't understand it.I've been traveeling my whole life but why does this trip have to be so hard?I mean seriously,my friends could actually count how many days I'm in jb when in comes to school holiday.I went to kl atleast once in two weeks.I went back to kampung to spend like the whole school holiday.I'm used to check-in in hotels.I'm used with not having my bed with me.What is so different with this trip?Why am I feeling so lonely?Why can't my heart feel at ease?What went wrong?

I've been updating with few of my friends whom will be leaving with me.Ok.So maybe I'm not alone.They all felt the same way.None of us were actually looking forward for this raya.We don't give a damn about it and we're not even thinking of doing so.We would rather have a long ramadhan than raya.No one gives a shit about raya.Except the fact that we might not being able to come back for raya next year.Again,another items to add in the 'why-we're-not-enjoying-this-raya'.Crap.I can't get this shit thing in my chest out and it's bugging me.[Go away laa shit.Shoo shoo!!]

Uhh..my back is really killing me.Cam nk nanges je.Da laa mood tak baik neh.Nk makan arr.Let see if I can find anything to eat dalam fridge.Jap ahh..Be right back.

[seriously,I went out for food.Damn relaxing when you have food by your side]

Good.I found kuih raya.Ahaha.Sorry laa eah mak.Nanti raya dida tak makan daa.Hehe =).[food never failed to make me feel better]

HaHaHa.OK.I'm being paranoid.Suddenly feeling much better after eating kuih raya.Sedap2.Ape nama pun tatau.Whatever laa.I'm feeling much better.Thank u dear kuih!I love you so much.You make my stomach feel so much better.Ok seriosly,I'm so paranoid.[muahaha laughing like mad].Stop it,dida.Shush!

Oh!!Johnnye depp lagi!Ahaha gourgeous sial mamat nie.Cam nak nanges tgk kehenseman dy dlm sleepy hollow.Kyaa!!Tanpa disedari I just add another reason for people to actually belive I'm paranoid o.0 I think I better stop before I'm talking crap again.

Anyway,this might be my last post in JB.Until next year my beloved one and only JB.I will always love you like no other.[I think I AM paranoid.Yargh!!]

p/s: will miss jb-rians like hell T___T

I feel like I'm totally invisible

I'm freaking pathetic.I mean how could I?What was I thinking?What the hell has got into me?I'm so damn pathetic.Whatever happened,let's just keep it to myself.It's just that I..I can't..I don't know what..Urghh!!I can't even spill it out when all I wanted was just to let this hellish thing in my cramped heart out.God.

I've been so[!] miserable lately and somehow I just can't let it out.I have everything I wanna say but I don't have anyone to tell it to.I can't find someone who actually give a damn about it.I'm so invisible right now. I'm right here standing in the middle of the road yet no one sees me.Everyone just walk past by me.What am I?Am I not worth to listen to anymore?

Alright I get it.I'm just freaking pathetic and I'm invisible.Good for me.I'll get a life of my own now.I'll live in my own world [if I can find one].Crap.I'm talking crap again.It's just that I'm..I'm just so ... uhhh... disturbed.This is killing me.People help me get back the real me that I really miss.Only if you still remember the real me and ofcourse,as long as you give a damn about it.I won't die without your support anyway.I can always look up to the ONLY one who never leaves me alone.Dear god,Allah.

Shit.I'm talking shit.I'm acting shit.And I'm feeling like a shit!Urghh!

whatever

I'm not being paranoid or whatever.I just have something I wish to just scream my lungs out and tell everyone whatever the hell I'm thinking right now.Ok people,here it goes.Johnny depp is just irrefutably unconditionally irrevocably super duper heart-melting freaking georgous!!Huh.Cair beb tengok dy in sleepy hollow.Tros mood jadi baik ahaha.Ok.Shut up.I'm beeing paranoid am I?Well,who the hell give a damn care about it.It's my blog.So,whatever.

p/s:what has got into me?!!I can't believe I'm posting on johnny depp in my blog at 0300am!Eeekk!o.0

I'm emotionally unstable

Ok.I know UPSR had started two days ago but I wasn't in any mood of blogging so I didn't post any.So my bother is currently squezzing his brain to the limit [NOT!] for his upsr.Haha lek arr dude.You'll realised it's not really a big thing to be concern about in no time.I mean seriously,do you still give a damn about your upsr result?I don't think any of us even care more our spm result now.You just simply go on with your life.But ofcourse,right now,it's a matter of life and death to you right?Hehe so umm just nail 'em down and banyak ckit doa yerk.Kurangkan DOTA tuu.Tade pekdahnye pown.[cakap macam laa dy nak baca blog nie].

Back to serious mode.Remember the rumour I posted a few days ago?I told my parents about it.I don't know wether it's the right thing to do.It's just that I thought they have to know what happen.After all,they're the one signing those cheques.But I did told them it was just a rumour.

But suddenly,the last thing I ever hoped to happen just happened.The rumour could be 80% true.Somehow,Egypt's ministry of higher education had decided to raise the fees starting this year to EVERY universities that accept students from malaysia.No valid reasons or whatsoever for the action but it was still under perbincangan.The university had been sending appeal letter to MOHE in requesting for the fees to remain unchanged for this year's students.

My agent told me it was not yet confirmed.''tak ade hitam putih lagi dari pihak wafdeen[Egypt's MOHE].Sekarang nie kami masih ikut official letter yang dari awl tahun lagi.Apa2 pun kami akan maklumkan''.OK seriously,kalau sampai university pun da antar appeal letter doesn't that make the rumour like 100% true?I mean,they won't thinking of butting in if it was just rumours right?God.Help me please.I really don't want to trouble my parents too much.

Mom cakap,''takpe.It's ok.We can still handle it.Cume try to get good results so nanti bole apply MARA scholarship.But you don't have to worry too much.We can still make this''.How am I supposed to not worry about this?The fees went up double for God's sake.And tu baru fees dy.Yang duit poket tiap2 bulan nanti lagi.Nie laa susahnye private students.Kene worry pasal duit parents.Plus,like I said,I have brothers in schools.Dyorang pun nak blaja gak.Nak pakai duit gak.Haisshh..Susah hati tol laa.Da laa nak fly lagi 19 hari lagi.

Worse,my dad told me we MIGHT not coming back to jb at all this raya.He said he wanted to stay straight in kl lepas balik kampung.Kalau macam tu,my last day kat jb will be next wednesday.I won't be seeing jb [and jb-rians] for the next a year.Mush ma'ul!!I want to come back here after raya.Please.I beg you abah.Please.Sekejap pun tape laa.Just this time let me be where I wanna be at the most.Please.

to pja

Happy birthday jah!Ahaha just sent you an sms.Hope I'll still be the first to wish you hehe.So 18 eyh?Looks like its quite a big number but hey,I've known you since you're as tall as me ok.Big or small,stays the same to me.Hehe.I wish for your happiness in life now and always.Remember those who care so much about you when you're not in your most sane state.Hehe there's always someone to back you up babe.OK?I'm saying this because I hope to be that person to always back you up.Even if we're not on standing on the same land,we're still under the same sky right?Hehe love you.Friends forever =).And may Allah bless you always

I can't believe this is me!

Ahaha just feeling nostalgic xDxD.I went through some old album this morning and I was so umm well,stunned.Haha not that I never saw my picture when I was a kid it's just that it's amazing seeing another bright and happy side of me that I simply don't remember having any memory of being one.When I looked at those picture I thought "I don't remember being so happy about living in this world without any doubt".Not that I'm always in misery or whatever but being a kid must've been one of the most magical time of a person's life.I wish I'm a kid again haha!xDxD

hehe so ada laa ckit gambar adik.Rasanya korang leh cam kot which one is aziq and which one is atem kan.Lagi rapat ngan atem dulu.I was already 6 when we had aziq.But hey,we got closer ok.Like duhh..We're family o.0 I used to hope for a sister.I wouldn't mind wether a younger or an elder sister.Sometimes I get jealous when my brothers were doing their boys stuff.maybe that's why I turned to be real close with my girlfriends.But umm things sort of a bit different now.I talked alot with my mom.And every stuff.Like shoes and begs,family thingy,our friends,new korean gossips and even boys.Yup,I talked about boys with my mom.Never thought it could be that easy.But ofcourse not every boys.Just a few.But you know how moms act when you started talking about those stuff.They turn out like umm what's the word,'mom-ish'?Oh well,they're just moms right.That's what they do.Hehe whatever it is,glad I found this pictures.Super cool!

an unacceptable yet forgivable rumour

I just browsed through my batch's portal and god I swear my heart just skipped a beat after reading an announcement.Giler bapak arr.Rase cam nak nanges je tadi.Or maybe I did cried.Terkejut la dey.Korang kalau nak tengok aku masok icu,silalah kuarkan statement yang sebegitu lagi eah.Felt like my heart just been flushed in the toilet!Please please!confirm whatever the thing you had with you first before posting it.That kinda stuff could kill me.Nasib baek laa c YY tu dengan pantas dan efficientnye kol gmn.Walaupun tanak puji lebih2 tapi thanks to him my heart start beating normal again.

There's a 'little' misunderstanding dalam fees ktorang.Tiba2 kuar rumours dy punye fees naek 2x ganda.Gilo apa.Da laa fees dy dalam Great Britain Pound.It turns out the fees stays the same cause our agent had some sort of agreement dengan the university pasal fees.Agent2 laen mungkin ade masalah.Kesian dak2 tu.Ade yang sampai kene tukar university because of the fees.Korang neh.Aku ade dua adik masih bersekolah ok.Ta bole pk aku sorang je nak blaja.I didn't even tell my parents about this.I didn't want them to be shocked or whatever.Even if it is just a rumour.I've troubled them enough.

hemm but think back,I know they didn't mean it.I mean surely they would've feel the same as me.Or maybe worse.Atleast they did told the rest of us.Imagine if we only know about this when we get there.Tak nak rase cam nak mati pulak kan.Sorry laa korang.Cuma rumours yang macam tu memang mencuakkan aku. T__T

Ok.Enough with that.Glad everything was just fine.Alhamdullillah.

Apsal laa lately nie asyik pk pasal twilight je nie.Cam tak sabar nak tengok new moon.But too bad,nanti kene g cairo nak tengok wayang.Yup.Kat mansoura tade cinema ok.Haishh..Tape2 tak mati.Fuh2!!Lagipun nanti bole usha2 reason to shop kalau kat cairo.Wee =) haha.Tak pun bole tengok kat alex.Lagi bes!Dapat lepak kat beach dy.muahaha!!

Berangan je lebih.Aishh niat da lain.Takle2.Niat leklok balik.G nak blaja ok.Bukan shop and habiskan duit mak ngan abah ye.Mintak2 jangan laa nak exam tyme new moon launched nanti.Amin.Haha